Is Throwing a Ball as Simple as you Think?

This will assume that you are not doing a hand stand.

If you aim and toss a ball upwards, it will go up. If you toss the ball downwards, the ball will go down. If you throw a ball straight, it will go straight. Now at some point in time you might think “will this really happen like this again”? That is your low self-confidence speaking. I use this example to show people that even in the most common situations in which we have a general prowess of information available to us, we tend to doubt ourselves. Some people doubt themselves too much, to the self of not saying anything in situations that call for their specific intellect. Not only does this prevent self-discovery and learning, but it also restricts future growth and opportunity.

I am scared of being wrong, but I do not let the fear of being wrong and learning a lesson stop me from voicing an opinion. I learned this lesson hard and painful. Countless times I have let my opinions go unheard, leaving my thoughts and ideas to bundle up inside of me. Leaving ideas go unheard is very unhealthy. In the span of the past five months I have simply gave up on giving ideas on how to improve work flow here at the humane society.

One day at the humane society I work at, I let the community service get the best of me. I enforce sanitization polices very strictly. I am sure that the community service worker was not sanitizing the cages and I was convincing myself that he was, even though I did not see him with a spray bottle. This was my second day as a supervisor of the cat room and I was scared to examine, and to tell the truth. I set a test which involved hiding the bottle and when I finally concluded the bottle was not being moved, I spoke up.

Another form of low confidence is to distrust what you have learned from valuable sources such as books and online resources. One day I was talking to a person about how upper respiratory infection was spread though fomites – inanimate objects. A worker cut in and tried to explain that upper respiratory infections can only be spread by the air. I did not tell him he was wrong and had to look up this information to make sure even though I have read tons on this subject. I was right and I did not speak up when it was important to. Do not let another individual’s opinion shut yours down. Speak up with confidence.

Another form of low confidence can include thinking your ideas are stupid. I have come up with five really great ideas that enforce sanitization 100% and thereby increased work productivity. I started to place small ping pong balls on the hand sanitizer bottles and placing small pieces of thread in the cat cages. If these items were not removed, I knew that the cages were not being sanitized and the bottles were not being used. I was scared to say this to the boss but knew something had to be done. I spoke up and I had some resistance by one worker, but my idea went through and the boss said “great job!”

I have found one great way to not agree with someone’s opinion and place in your own to get a conversation started. It goes like this According to what I have learned; this cat’s traits and characteristics are consistent with…” What this does is tell them up straight what the facts are, and what you have examined in your past that justifies your thinking. If you started with “I think this might be the case but I am not sure” you sound like you do not know anything. What I needed to do was speak up at the first red flag that indicated something was wrong. I also needed to speak up when being right was important. Being confident does mean trusting your instincts and gut feeling.

You do not need a road map, or blueprints, to make a statement on even the widest of issues that can have many opinions. Remember to be honest, and to voice your opinions when you feel they are important but withdraw or tune them down a bit when the situation demands it. Being confident is never easy and being right is like being alone. But being confident and being right is never wrong.

Just Slow Down

Today I learned one valuable lesson that aids in my learning to talk to people. When I would talk to people they would often ask me what I was talking about, I would stutter and speak too fast, and I would end up making an excuse to leave. This all was a direct cause of me talking too fast. When you speak too quick you will stutter and end up making less of a point then you set out to make in the first place. If you learn to talk slow, even if you start out very slow, you will end up leaving more of an impression.

Take into account my situation at the humane society this week. I have been trying to educate people about spay/neuter, upper respiratory infections, and cat behavior. For a while it seemed like that my educating was doing no good because they would often forget what I said or remember what I said but in a bad way. This week I decided to think a minute before replying or saying something and question if it has meaning and if it would make sense. I didn’t go into advanced thinking or planning of the conversation, I just mapped out the first few words and the rest followed though.

I was successful in educating about feline declawing, upper respiratory infections such as herpes virus, and spay/neuter operations and how they make an impact in saving animal lives. All I did was slow down and really think about three things

1. What does this conversation need to do and who does it need to benefit?
2. Do I need to include jargon or does the person just need to know the basics?
3. Where do I need to begin?

Talk slow, talk with passion and show understanding, and you will brimming with confidence in your everyday walk of life. Just slow down and enjoy life, there is no reason to race though it!

Six Secret Tips to Building Confidence

A lot of intelligent people across the world have ideas on how to be more confident. And as I read though some of the recent comments on my posts, I can see that I have been of some help. The problem is that a lot of confidence advice is very straight forward while a lot of the more perplex ways to build confidence is not really looked out. Why you ask? Because a lot of us do confidence building subconsciously without knowing it.

I want to share some of the methods and tactics I used to build up on my confidence throughout school and work.

Don’t invade a castle with only a sword. While it is possible to invade castle with only a sword and possibly effective, you would feel more confident with a shield until you had enough experience without one. The same applies to real life. The last few years people would comment that I wear long sleeves and hoodies too often, even in the summer time. This is because I was picked on when I was younger and the hoodie supplied a lot of mental protection. It is a good idea to wear a hoodie or a jacket and long sleeved shirts while building up the first particles of confidence. You will want to move on to short sleeves and a hoodie. Eventually you will want to eliminate the hoodie.

Share your interests strategically. If you are really as scared as I am about meeting new people, exploring interests and communicating your likes, there is hope. If you are an avid reader, writer or movie watcher, then allow people to see what you are engrossed in. I have the tendency to place a book that I am finished reading face down so that I do not have to show people and talk about it. Recently I have found pleasure in leaving the title face up so that I can get a conversation starter. If you try to show your interests in other ways such as watching movies and even wearing shirts of a favorite band, you might just find that conversations come just that much easier and without saying a word.

Use an ipod around people that you know. Listen to an ipod on low volume setting with only one ear bud in. I use to be very cautious with people looking over my conversations and bashing my music taste. This method helped by reinforcing the idea that it is okay to listen to what you prefer around people even if they don’t like your taste of music. I switched to a louder music setting and moved to a portable radio after. People do say bad things about my music and I have learned to accept criticism by not making a retort back. What you want to do is make a neutral comment back that acknowledges his opinion and engages his thoughts about tasteful music. This not only helps you build on sharing your music tastes more but also allows you to be more outgoing and social.

Games help build confidence. Even if you are not the best a video game, the fun in competing with other online players will inspire you to do better the next time. I like to play video games that I really like and that I know I will be good at such as shooter games and puzzle games. The only thing that I recommend is to end the video game on a good note. You don’t want to end a video game with you getting no points and everyone else getting a ton. We all have our bad games, but save them for when you compensate if at all possible. To enhance your video game experience with online players you can buy a microphone and chat online.

Have a chat on the internet. If you have problems on what to say during a conversation then you might want to consider video games and chat rooms. I find that it is a lot easier due to low expectations to chat in chat rooms and video games. If you start with “Hi” you will find that you get “Hi” back. If you have a proper conversation, you should not be bitten. If you do get bitten when you are sure you have been polite then you have ran into a cyber-bully and it would be a good idea to disengage the conversation and search for another.

Sorry, thank you and your welcome. A lot of people have problems with accepting praise, giving praise, and being wrong. This one involves a lot of real experience. Start by saying “thank you” online and move to saying it for short and nice things people do. Then move to saying the words for bigger things. Saying “your welcome” is not as hard but requires the same method. “Sorry” is a straight shooter and only practice makes perfect.

I really help you enjoyed my tips and apply them to your life. Thank you for reading and be sure to check out my other articles!